Oh, how to explain the mechanics of the infinite temporal flux?

By Blue Bronc, a Trail Mix Contributor
I know: Back to the Future. It’s like Back to the Future

Dr. Who 10th Doctor (David Tenant)

I think we have time travelers in our midst. While digging through some folders in my file cabinet, many very old and untouched for years, I came across this sheet of what feels like plastic wrap. On it is something like a printout, which is this strange report. I would not have believed it except how would anyone in 1968 think anyone with a name like Trump be the leader of the United States. The routing information seems to indicate this went to an agency with a name of National Transform Time Agency (NTTA).   Why it is in my file for LGBT Lesbian Party Invitations 1999 is hard to fathom. I am now wondering about the nice woman who just sailed into the marina.

47820611.cachedWashington D.C. National Transform Time Agency, Beltsville, MD

July 4, 1968

Re: visit to July 4, 2018

As Supreme Dictator and Know It All, Trump has allowed only white males who have pledged their right and left testicals (colloquially known as a “balls”) to his dinner table. Although this will render the men sterile, they have acknowledged a predilection towards being worthless anyway. Women are not invited to this event as The Donald has dictated no cu**s in his world (which tends to make him seem a little strange).

For the Supreme Dictator if you want something to happen, gold makes it happen. Except gold which has been in any location where Spanish is spoken. Los Angeles of course. Anywhere in Texas.  Most of the suburbs of Atlanta. Pretty much most of the United States outside of North Dakota. Okay, you need old gold and not the cigarettes. Preferably very old gold which was not in the U.S. before the country became the Protectorate of The Donald.

Due to having a problem with the old Constitution, The Donald changed it to name him as Supreme Leader of the United State of Freedomia and he would write the new version as he wanted sometime in the future. Such a bold move was met by voters saying they were tired of politicians being political and compromisers. They wanted someone who would stand up to compromisers. Now with The Donald in charge they do not have to worry about compromising. As Supreme Dictator he will now let you live your miserable life in pain and want. Congratulations, you voted for your hell.

Without having to deal with old weaklings, after challenging Roberts to a duel to the death with hair coloring, he now owned the Supreme Court. He decided that as Supreme Dictator there was no need for a court of any kind. He would decide if you were a good enough white male or to be exported because you are not. He tells you what you need to know, and that makes it alright with his supporters. There are no known non-supporters left. But there are a lot of non-white people making bricks in the area south of Texas and California. A big wall project is underway.

For some reason the Supreme Dictator forgot to close the northern border which has become an outbound highway full of non-supporters. Most other countries of the world have agreed to take in these refugees. All the good spots in the Caribbean are filled as are South America, Central America, Cuba, Mexico and Australia.

This phase of the testing is complete. The next phase is being prepared and should commence once I have my brain reconfigured to human thought. Listening to those weird people made me upset.

downloadfileOBTW: The National LGBT headquarters has successfully located to the Virgin Islands. Party Hearty. I met with my counterpart at NTTA and we had a great time she is looking forward to coming to the office sometime with me.

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Hillary’s Next Win; Whither Bernie?

2016-02-22-1456172662-1597066-BernieSanders-thumbIt is not whether, but by how much does Hillary win the South Carolina primary today, and whither Bernie? The next collection of states on Super Tuesday present few opportunities for Sanders. It now seems he has become, and perhaps always was, a protest candidate for voters who would rather cast at windmills.

WHITHER: “To what place or state?” (Websters dictionary)

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The Art of the Deal

By Mudcat, a Trail Mix Contributor

If Trump is elected, I’m putting the odds at 3-1 that Christie is our new AG. I would put the odds at 100-1, but Trump could easily screw him. I can’t think of any other political reason for the proud ex-prosecutor to endorse anybody at this stage.

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Trump’s Best News: Cruz, Rubio Still Here

So long as Cruz and Rubio stay viable Trump wins. His rivals did just that in the debate last night, landing punches that will encourage their donors.

488x-1The best news for Trump is that Cruz might win his home state of Texas next week. And that Rubio is the darling of establishment Republicans who despise Trump and Cruz.

Two-thirds of GOP voters don’t want Trump, but so long as they are split between his rivals his one-third keeps him on top. If Trump can keep these two humming while he whistles past them he will be the presumptive nominee by late March.

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The Three-Fifths President

By PatD, a Trail Mix Contributor

A few threads back our fearless leader floated a theory that just might explain the unprecedented disrespect shown the President by the Republican Senate. They view him as 3/5 of a president keeping to their vaunted “constitutional originalism” … for indeed, back in those days a black man was considered only 3/5 a person. So that answers why his administration was only valid in their eyes for 57.6 months. After that they could care less.

r72813obamaAs usual Craig was spot on. Too bad he wasted this insight on us instead of on the air with the Iman so that it could have been heard by a larger audience. But perhaps there’s a book in it or at least a full fledged thread devoted to the outrageous disregard the Senators have for the 65,455,010 voters of 2012.

GOP Debate Tonight
CNN 8:30pm ET

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