Oh, how to explain the mechanics of the infinite temporal flux?

By Blue Bronc, a Trail Mix Contributor
I know: Back to the Future. It’s like Back to the Future

Dr. Who 10th Doctor (David Tenant)

I think we have time travelers in our midst. While digging through some folders in my file cabinet, many very old and untouched for years, I came across this sheet of what feels like plastic wrap. On it is something like a printout, which is this strange report. I would not have believed it except how would anyone in 1968 think anyone with a name like Trump be the leader of the United States. The routing information seems to indicate this went to an agency with a name of National Transform Time Agency (NTTA).   Why it is in my file for LGBT Lesbian Party Invitations 1999 is hard to fathom. I am now wondering about the nice woman who just sailed into the marina.

47820611.cachedWashington D.C. National Transform Time Agency, Beltsville, MD

July 4, 1968

Re: visit to July 4, 2018

As Supreme Dictator and Know It All, Trump has allowed only white males who have pledged their right and left testicals (colloquially known as a “balls”) to his dinner table. Although this will render the men sterile, they have acknowledged a predilection towards being worthless anyway. Women are not invited to this event as The Donald has dictated no cu**s in his world (which tends to make him seem a little strange).

For the Supreme Dictator if you want something to happen, gold makes it happen. Except gold which has been in any location where Spanish is spoken. Los Angeles of course. Anywhere in Texas.  Most of the suburbs of Atlanta. Pretty much most of the United States outside of North Dakota. Okay, you need old gold and not the cigarettes. Preferably very old gold which was not in the U.S. before the country became the Protectorate of The Donald.

Due to having a problem with the old Constitution, The Donald changed it to name him as Supreme Leader of the United State of Freedomia and he would write the new version as he wanted sometime in the future. Such a bold move was met by voters saying they were tired of politicians being political and compromisers. They wanted someone who would stand up to compromisers. Now with The Donald in charge they do not have to worry about compromising. As Supreme Dictator he will now let you live your miserable life in pain and want. Congratulations, you voted for your hell.

Without having to deal with old weaklings, after challenging Roberts to a duel to the death with hair coloring, he now owned the Supreme Court. He decided that as Supreme Dictator there was no need for a court of any kind. He would decide if you were a good enough white male or to be exported because you are not. He tells you what you need to know, and that makes it alright with his supporters. There are no known non-supporters left. But there are a lot of non-white people making bricks in the area south of Texas and California. A big wall project is underway.

For some reason the Supreme Dictator forgot to close the northern border which has become an outbound highway full of non-supporters. Most other countries of the world have agreed to take in these refugees. All the good spots in the Caribbean are filled as are South America, Central America, Cuba, Mexico and Australia.

This phase of the testing is complete. The next phase is being prepared and should commence once I have my brain reconfigured to human thought. Listening to those weird people made me upset.

downloadfileOBTW: The National LGBT headquarters has successfully located to the Virgin Islands. Party Hearty. I met with my counterpart at NTTA and we had a great time she is looking forward to coming to the office sometime with me.

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, ‘Do trousers matter?'”

“The mood will pass, sir.”
P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

By Blue Bronc, Trail Mix Contributor

Although the thought had been nascent for several years, it once again arises – Obama really is a Blue Dog Dem. Those early years of giving the cookie jar and a few muffins to the Republicans for budget and other lesser things were taken that he was very naïve and trying to compromise, but it is now apparent that was incorrect. When every year he gave the Republicans the piggy bank and a few extra cupcakes to pass something or other, it seemed he was trying to compromise.

obamaBut, nay. He really has been running the White House on the edge of Republican left or center right of the Democratic platform.

To even float a Republican for Supreme Court is beyond comprehension of this Democrat. It is beyond any scify scribblings I could come up with. The Republicans have treated him like a door mat. They have treated him as they would scum on a pond. The Republicans do not like him, or anything about him.

And, yet he is still trying to play nice with the as*(&les.   He has the opportunity to finally turn the Supremes toward Americans and away from corporations. But, he comes up with a Republican. He can finally turn the Supremes to the left of right. His answer to the question of who should be on the bench is a Republican?

obama_stetsonOne hundred million Dems or Near Dems in fifty states, a district and many territories and protectorates. And he could not find one Democrat qualified to be a Supreme Court Justice? His true colors are now revealed. (Fifty very nasty swear word sentences removed.)

He could not find a Democrat; he could not find a liberal or progressive in our country? He had to go with a Republican. Horse apples.

In the fall the war was still there

but we did not go to it anymore

— Hemingway, Men Without Women (1927)

By Blue Bronc, Trail Mix Contributor

Some days have a touch of fun, a splash of strange and a dash of nuts. Today is one of those days. Although the work day, I worked at home today, was long and typical, typical in that I achieved no goals which were well planned yesterday, it was the final teleconference call which set the finale. You would think that one hundred people who are on a call every day from two pm to three pm might take to heart the message “mute your phone”, you would think wrong. Today was worse.

On the daily calls is a person who is adamant about muting phones. Today was different. She held several other telephone calls while on the daily call, conversing in a language that all though common, was not English. For some reason she was not listening to the daily call. Others were doing their voice mail, and with a phone on hold music is played, we were treated to Kenny G. The daily call ended early.

After finishing my day I smashed the lid of the laptop computer closed and looked about at my room. I had placed my A/V on mute so I could be on the phone, doing so I had forgotten about it. You cannot multitask no matter how many times you were told you could. After shutting down the computer, I run a media computer for the main television, several other inputs, my mind told my legs “move quickly and hit the head”. When I was twenty, that was easy. Now it takes time, and I tend to be a little easy to distract when walking ten feet. At least I remembered my goal before any splash took place.800px-Tulips_(5527679674)

A few minutes later I was outside planting a few tulip bulbs which had hidden from me last year in a box holding diesel timing tools. It was fun, and a wonderful way to spend thirty minutes outside in the crisp February air. Little did I know, see multitasking above, the mail carrier had come by while I was on the phone. Hmm, now that I think about it, I had the noise reduction ear buds in my ears so I could not hear anything except the phone call.

On sitting down with my new book, fresh out of the mailbox, I could not be more ready for the touch of fun. Philip Greene’s To Have and Have Another. Hemingway’s drink recipes! Reading a few pages I happened to glance up and see a most disgusting image – a fat, little person, covered in body paint and wearing a loin cloth wiggling on the television to some dance music. That has been the weirdest thing I have seen since clips of the clowns on the morning show at seven this morning.

The constant beat of the Republican war drums is stupid. They need to take a trip to the war that never ends in Afghanistan. They want blood, they should go see it, feel it and smell it. They want bombs, they should go sit around in a bomb run. They want the U.S. to fight, they should clean and oil their M-16’s and lead us in. I will not say Obama is right in his policy, however, we may never have the right policy anymore. I do know the Republicans will never have a chance of the best policy because they are not capable of designing it.

One of the best movies for teens is To Kill A Mockingbird. The movie puts some thoughts into fertile brains. Less fertile brains do not understand. It was a shame that Harper Lee burned out on that one book. I will assume that all you have written something for class, perhaps for your work or volunteer activity. You may have struggled with the “write a one hundred word summary of your work” on the job. I will not assume more than a handful of you have written a ninety thousand word book. Most of us find it rather difficult. I know writers who can knock out that many words for a political book, but not a novel unless they spent a year planning it. For Harper Lee and her writings, I hold my glass high.

A Good Wine Needs No Bush

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
(As You Like It, Epilogue / wrathofgrapes.com)

By Blue Bronc, Trail Mix Contributor

The news that George tvi Bush, or Bush II, has been officially pulled from an undisclosed location says it all for the Bush III wannabe. Loudly we now can see how bad the campaign is going. With great ears (many cartoonists have been eagerly awaiting this adventure) sticking out from the supporting structure of the great void, he is ripe to get back on the trail he is.

Although G. tvi Bush has campaigned for his sibling before, it was without the fanfare we see going on to South Carolina. It was Colorado, and it was not to fundraise for the Colorado Dems, that I last heard the goofball went (youngsters, go look up goofball in the google book). And, outside of a few media reports that was it. I heard he has appeared elsewhere but I am not bothering to search for where. It agitates me with a profound hate just to hear, see or think of the guy.

One sentence I read concerning the “debate”, or from other reports it sounded like a free for all cage match, was that JobBush used the free advice I offered and got a stick under the Trump armor. Good. Too bad he did not use his big stick, perchance he does not have a big stick. He could have used a Rubio and sandwiched him instead. The clowns provide little entertainment for me.

This election is full of tricks, stunts and idiocy, so much so our beloved Three Stooges would have been out of business during this long, long year. The media must be changing their collective drawers every hour, or at least you would think so from how they are writing, interviewing, contemplating, guessing and outright making stuff up, just to entertain us. They are putting in overtime on the fully useless information.

I can easily envision Mark Twain sitting at his table writing. Oil lamp providing a soft light on his paper, his pen scratching words and wit, a wisp of cigar smoke providing inspiration. Too bad we do not have him with us. We do have a few gems, Alexandra Petri being one familiar to Trail Mix commentariat. Beside Trail Mix there are many blogs with concerned bloggers bloggitying the night away, well worth finding them. I have not seen the Capitol Steps lately. They are a must for those seeking insider information into politics. They do their act every Friday and Saturday at the Ronnie Reagan Building amphitheater, Federal Triangle Metro stop. Maybe when the weather is better a Trail Mix night with the Capitol Steps would be interesting.

‘I Got The Fever For Some Ham Hocks’

— Goodie Mob (Soul Food Remix)

By Blue Bronc, Trail Mix Contributor

Can I call the Bern to go find where my ham hock went? How about Hillary coming to town and making me a big bowl of ham hock, beans and greens? No need to bother with the Republicans. To them, anyone who would eat a ham hock is not one of their voters (this is guessing they even know what a ham hock is).

All day I had been dreaming of a smoked ham hock in a pot meeting with a pound of split green peas, on onion, a few carrots and celery and some chicken stock. Okay, some thoughts for hot dogs. Not hot dogs in a plastic package which have a shelf life longer than my truck. Hot dogs and a smoked ham hock from the local Dutch/Amish Market (some confusion as both labels are used interchangeably). Hot dogs with a crunch, a smoked ham hock that is big and meaty.

While I was getting a turkey leg to smoke and a pile of chicken leg quarters, someone moved my grocery buggy. Little did I know that, when I took my cart and rolled over to buy a pack of hot dog buns. Hot dog buns that you do need to eat or freeze today. My cart with my hot dogs, smoked ham hock and two pork chops was not where I tossed my chicken and turkey parts.  I got home and had two pork chops and a pound of bacon.

hamThere is something about being in the midst of a couple dozen Amish men, women and children that I enjoy. I have been lucky enough to have grown up visiting their villages and towns since I was a young child. Their lives are very enticing. Oh the lack of anything beyond 1890 is something well known. The other parts of their lives are what I like.

Why would anyone not like a utopian socialist religious society like the Amish? Plenty of fun things to do. Milk cows. Muck the horse barn. Sew your own clothes. Sounds good so far, eh?

Republicans are fervently not Amish. The whole share and work together to make a better day causes them to freak out and stain their drawers.
How about Democrats? Amish? No. Some parts sound good, but being nice to each other every day and sewing your own clothes seem a bit much.

Bernie? How about Bernie in the old Amish community? Nah. He is a socialist, not a utopian socialist, which includes religion. Not that not being religious is a problem for a good share of Americans. His foreign events policy would be interesting to them.

Can you imagine living in a world where the pace is the speed of a horse and you have to do a lot of wood splitting to stay warm in the winter? A place where there is no television, radio or internet.

A place where you do not have to hear or see politicians like the group we have today.