If I Were President…at Least for a Day.

By SJWNY, a Trail Mix Contributor

Twitter has positive attributes, one being hashtag games. I noticed an recent offering was “If I Were President.” The answers ranged from the silly to the not so silly. But I must admit, it’s a fun topic.

So, what type of President would you be …. REALLY? We’ve all daydreamed about this. Name your Veep, choose your Cabinet. Ram through legislation near & dear to your heart. Design new WH china, dress the guards up like Nixon did. What the hell. Here’s your chance.

Madam/Mr President, your public awaits.


73 thoughts on “If I Were President…at Least for a Day.”

  1. lindsey’s on a roll [after being reminded by trevor about previous cruz slams]:
    Graham, stating the obvious, said his endorsement of the Texas senator, “tells you everything you need to know about Donald Trump.”
    The crowd was silent.
    “I don’t understand it,” Noah said.
    “Well, you’re not from here,” Graham shot back. “I don’t dislike Ted. Ted and I have a lot of differences,” he continued,  diplomatically, if not convincingly. Then, Graham grinned and said, of his horseradish-dishing-out style,  “I’m getting better at this.”
    The crowd erupted approvingly.
    “He was my 15th choice. What can I say?” Graham grinned.
    Noah asked Graham, who was by now now the audience’s favorite Republican, ever, what was there positive to say about Cruz.
    “One, he’s not completely crazy,” Graham said, making a check mark on an imaginary list.
    “So, he’s partially crazy?” Noah said, trying hard to keep up with Graham, comedically.
    “That works in Washington. We’ve got Bernie Sanders,” Graham responded, landing another one.
    Asked what else “turned him on” about Cruz, Graham said, “He’s not Trump.” The real estate mogul turned reality-TV star’s campaign, Graham said, is “opportunistic, race baiting, religious bigotry” –and xenophobic. “Other than that, he’d be a good nominee.”

  2. Why Republicans Should Learn to Love Bernie Sanders
    by Liz Peek
    “Republicans should do everything possible to keep Bernie Sanders in the race. He is doing what no one else can do–by pushing Hillary Clinton further to the left, Sanders could render her unelectable. In running against Sanders, Clinton has dubbed herself a progressive, and embraced ever-more liberal positions to fend off the popular socialist. Once nominated, Clinton will undoubtedly want to tack back to the center. That’s the Clinton playbook, and it worked for her husband Bill, who successfully ran as a Centrist Democrat in 1992. Only 26 percent of Americans consider themselves “liberal” – far fewer than the 38 percent who self-describe as “moderate” and below the 33 percent who say they are conservative. Playing to the progressive minority could be a losing game.”Interesting!! http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/Columns/2016/03/23/Why-Republicans-Should-Learn-Love-Bernie-Sanders

  3. more from the daily show link:
    Graham conceded that “35 percent of my party believes that Obama’s a Muslim born in Kenya” and Trump has “locked that crowd down” while “the other 65% of us just think he’s a bad president.”
    “I don’t get paid to do this!” Graham reminded the audience, when that gag died in the hall. Then, without warning, he switched signals on Noah, asking the South African native, “Are you a citizen?”
    “Am I a citizen? No, I’m not,” Noah answered cautiously. “I’m not, why?”
    “Do you have a green card?” Graham persisted.
    “I do not,” Noah said, now visibly uncomfortable.
    “If I were you, Id’ be in a hurry,” Graham guffawed. “If Trump wins, your days are numbered, pal. Young black liberal guy from Africa is not going to work with him.”

  4. “I’m saying,  ‘My party’s completely screwed up’,” Graham explained patiently. And the crowd roared.
    Noah wondered why the party had to nominate either man.
    “It’s called democracy. Welcome to America,” Graham told Noah, …

  5. SJ, to your question,

    I’d announce I was not running for reelection, and spend four years on Air Force One.

  6. There will definitely have to be some renovations before I move in.  Make the swimming pool year round.  Even with a solar heated cabana, it will need some kind of cover for the winter months.

    Then there is the small matter of the library.  It is too small.  If I’m expected to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, I want a really comfortable chair and a good book to get me through the tough times.

  7. Jamie, the entire first floor needs a makeover in my opinion, from the East Room to the State Dining Room. Hasn’t been touched since Jackie Kennedy turned it into Versailles Tacky, nothing remotely American about it.

  8. something’s just got to be done about the situation room… too crowded.  maybe replace/get rid of conference table, make everyone use their smart phones in lieu of notebooks. too drab, needs color



    nifty chart and explanation from five thirty eight

    The chart above shows our graphical conception of the Republican field — what we call the GOP’s “five-ring circus” — and how far across that field former presidential candidates have gone when choosing who to endorse. (There’s a healthy amount of subjectivity behind each candidate’s placement on that diagram, so take this all with a grain of salt.) Both Bush and Lindsey Graham traveled a ways along the circus floor — across the entire “establishment” ring and beyond — to arrive at their Cruz endorsements. Only Chris Christie’s endorsement of Trump, the GOP front-runner, looks like a bigger stretch, though admittedly, Trump’s placement here is extremely tenuous.

    Still, Cruz has been mostly despised by Republican apparatchiks, and the above chart should give you a sense of the lengths some Republican Party “elites” are willing to go to stop Trump.

  10. The entire interior of the WH was gutted to enable the rebuild of the structure itself during the Truman administration. I doubt if the interior rebuild was left in the hands of Bess and Mamie. So, Jackie, probably by default, created order out of chaos.

    The situation room as-is probably serves its purpose well. The CinC plus the responsible executive from each cabinet level department plus one ear-whisperer per individual. The size will shrink as the scope of a crisis is more fully understood.

  11. First I would make Dr. Dean head of the Dems to make sure I had majorities in the house and senate

    I would follow Trudeau’s lead and have a representative cabinet.

    I would re-institute the draft with a type of service choice including the peace corp

    I would have a court jester


  12. Let’s get the property brothers in to do a makeover, consulted by rehab addict Nichole Curtis to make sure the historical angle is covered, assisted by the Waco Texas fixer upper couple who never blow a budget and Christina el Moussa to bring in a little modern flair (plus, she’s a babe). Mrs. P could oversee the makeover – she’s got great tastes (except in husbands) and strong opinions.


  13. Katherine, the Canadian form of government is so different from ours that, instinctively, I think you should be burned at the stake for such an idea 🙂

    More seriously, if we have a strong VP and a strong Chief of Staff, then I think the cabinet heads should be technocrats; people such as Richard Haas who Craig nominated. But, if we don’t have strong leadership at the President’s side, then we must have strong loyalists, hopefully qualified, in the departments.

  14. Courtesy of Berkley Breathed we now have a word for this election season:  We have all been Dinklefwatted.


  15. Flatus, I am not fond of the powers that have accumulated over the years for the Chief of Staff, who is unelected and not subject to Senate confirmation. Think I’d return to the old days of a Private Secretary who simply manages the president’s schedule and decision flow, not involved in policy making.

  16. I’d have Howard Dean in the cabinet – not sure which post, but maybe overseeing defense or interior, Bernie overseeing medicare/medicaid, Hillary would be the first nominee for a SCOTUS vacancy, Loretta Lynch or Eric Holder for a second vacancy (and i’d appoint him AG if he’d take it- just to piss the pugns off)- although I would like to have Lawrence Tribe in there somewhere, Krugman over treasury, Jeffrey Sachs over IRS & OMB, Barbara Boxer for Sec of State, Tammy Duckworth for Sec Def.

  17. kgc, absolutely agree with you on the draft. universal draft for everybody’s 18th and 19th years to be spent in some kind of service (not just military) to the country.  modifications, adaptations , creative thinking to include all no matter what the circumstance.  emphasis being on “we’re all in this together”… also some kind of civil mandate on voting (much like Australia’s) play or pay, but this will require beefing up civics education thru out schooling.

  18. just remember all, you want your best and most loyal (qualified) friend for AG, the only appointee who can put you in jail

  19. hmmm….  have never thought about being president.  I’d start by getting rid of all restrictive voting laws.  No more voter IDs.  A booth for every 25 citizens would be mandatory in all voting places.  Same day registration. Motor voter registration for rural areas.  Paper verification for all electronic machines.  If online voting can be made secure…  sure go for it.  Voting would be on Saturday and Sunday… yes 2 days…  mandatory.  Any other ideas that makes voting as easy as possible I’d entertain.

    Then I’d step down and give the job to my VP (pick any young energetic and SMART Democrat).  Then I’d become the Queen of popcorn…   🙂

  20. RR, like so many things, president has no power to dictate state voting laws. However, perhaps by tying federal funding of states to ballot reform. Or have Justice Dept sue the bastards, maybe under the equal protection clause.

  21. rr, right on with no need for voter ids.  that id chip they’ll be inserting soon in everybody will be sufficient.  we’ll just wave at the ballot to vote.   more efficient and less messy than the purple inked finger.

  22. Speaking of  suing the bastards …

    The Supreme Court on Monday seemed likely to leave in place a lower court’s decision that redraws some of Virginia’s congressional districts and creates the possibility of electing a second black U.S. House member from the commonwealth.

    The justices seemed concerned that Virginia’s Republican-led legislature had packed African American voters into the Hampton Roads-based 3rd Congressional District, which is represented by the state’s lone black congressman, Rep. Robert C. “Bobby” Scott, a Democrat. As a result, the surrounding districts became safer for white Republican candidates.

    The article’s a good read.

  23. Craig…   I know that voting is a state function….   but sjwny said “the answers ranged from the silly to the not so silly.”  So if W and Cheney could invent “weapons of mass destruction”, why can’t I fantasize about kicking the states in ass when it comes to voting laws…

    I mean…  I can’t really be the Queen of popcorn either….   can I?…   🙂

  24. My veep: Jon Stewart

    All state dinners would be vegetarian, with vegan options, and would be served on Correlle Livingwear (which used to be made in the USA, and should be in the future) because it’s light and durable.

    The WH would be as energy efficient as possible.

    The Children’s Garden would be dismantled, with handprints and footprints of all the little Bushes, etc., being offered back to them for the cost to taxpayers to have them created in the first place.  If they do not wish to pay up, they would be put on eBay, with the funds going toward upkeep of the WH grounds and gardens.

    National service required for 12 months, only, with exemptions for anyone on full, academic scholarships, as I think the uber-smart kids should not be sidelined.

    All of the factory farms and tobacco farms would be phased out, helping those farmers shift to another use for their land.  Breeding of cattle, pigs, etc., would be halted immediately.

    Single payer, of course, which would include acupuncture, massage therapy, etc.



  25. world’s largest aircraft ready to fly the sky
    Nick Allman, HAV’s program director, says it has the potential to change aviation forever.
    “We see it as the future,” he told CNN. “It’s going to be cheaper, it’s going to be greener, we’re going to be able to go to places we can’t go to and from now.
    “It’s going to be a whole revolution in how we use air transport.”
    Part airship, part helicopter, part plane, the 92-meter-long Airlander 10 owes its buoyancy to 38,000 cubic meters of helium.
    The pressure of the lighter-than-air gas helps maintain the aerodynamic shape of a hull made from carbon fiber, Kevlar and Mylar.

    also see hybrid air vehicles

  26. just kidding about the up up and away balloons here’s the real deal as pictured in2015

    After flying successfully for 90 minutes, Airlander 10 touches down serenely as the sun sets, without a need for a runway.

  27. BlueinD….   I like your idea of American made when it comes to dinnerware.  I have 2 sets of dishes that are handcrafted by a couple of potter friends.  So I guess I would redecorate the WH with as much handcrafted stuff as possible.  There was mention of not liking the furniture.  There are some fantastic master furniture makers in this country.  And for the cabinets and bookcases, I’d hire Sturg.  Hell….  I’d turn the WH into a virtual showcase of the best American craftsmen and their wares.

  28. RR, sorry, got too serious about your proposal because I think you raise a fundamental issue presidents should get creative about fixing within their limited powers

  29. RR, Perhaps it is time for a president to submit to Congress a Voting Rights Act for all Americans, standardizing Federal elections in the ways you suggest. Probably would not pass on the first go-round but get it on the table for the future.

  30. My first Executive Order would require that all federal contractors must disclose any contributions to Super Pacs. A president has no authority to ban those contributions under Citizens United, but executive power for managing Federal contracts would likely allow this much.

  31. I just read the lead editorial in today’s Journal–something I virtually never do. The gist of it is, Republicans had better start rooting for, and supporting, Kasich as he is the only candidate whom polling shows as being victorious against Hillary.

  32. If I were president for a day I’d build that cabinet everybody’s always talking about.

  33. I’ve thought for years that a formal “gap year” should be mandatory for young people coming out of high school.  Get out in the great wide world and do some good.

    As to Federal elections, all great ideas.  Here is WA, the instant you get a Drivers License or State ID, you are registered to vote unless you actively opt out.

    Speaking of elections, Bernie is definitely packing them in around the state so Saturday should be very interesting.  I’m taking Sea’s Love & Kindness Hillary bumper stickers with me to impress the natives.



    PatD  – A similar article was in The Atlantic (or something I used to get) that supposed schizophrenia was caused by a cat parasite; the same one that infected rats and emboldened them do as to be too aggressively stupid to fear cats and get eaten.  Does Donald have an indoor/outdoor cat?

    RR – I like your craftsman WH.  Maybe your friend who makes the beautiful canoes could make one for…is there a body of water at Camp David?

    If states get squirrelly about following your wishes, can’t you just halt any block grants until you come to an understanding?



  35. Jamie – I hope you enjoy yourself and that everyone on the various sides of this crazy fence behave themselves.

  36. My first act in office, pardon all the  peoplle in jail on federal marijuana offenses.

    My first legislative agenda is legalizing pot.

  37. This sad news came too soon:
    Comedian Garry Shandling, star of Showtime’s It’s Garry Shandling’s Show and HBO’s The Larry Sanders Show, died Thursday, TMZ reports. He was 66.
    Per the site, Shandling passed away after he was transported from his home to a Los Angeles-area hospital.
    Shandling was a five-time Emmy Award nominee for Lead Actor, and he grabbed gold once for Outstanding Writing. The comedian also amassed three American Comedy Awards across his career, 12 CableACE Awards, two Golden Globe nods and a pair of Writers Guild Award noms.

  38. Out of action for a while.  Work takes its own time.

    First move is to make a western island the Western White House – a suitable island is Maui.

    Second is to anoint a “poker of the Senate and House” one whose job it is to poke sticks at the leaders of the House and Senate.  The secondary job is to be the on daily air person pointing out that the shirkers are not in the building provided to them to do the country’s business.

    Life is good.

  39. Jamie44 – Gary Schandling dead at 66.  I am finding it a problem that all the people my age are dying.  The source/cause is less interesting than they are on the same down slope of the bell curve as I am.

  40. Oldseahag,

    You would design the WH china. I like the nifty job you did with the bumper stickers.

  41. I’m sure the gang could come up with ones like this:

    #IfIWerePresident I would set Congressional pay to the Federal Minimum Wage of $7.25 an hour.  Then they would raise it right away.


  42. BB

    The ones that really bother me are ones like a new movie starring Gidget Sally Fields where she is described as a “60 something woman”




  43. In Trump’s World, Women Have Always Been Objects
    Of course he’d use Melania and Heidi as props. To him, women aren’t worth much more.
    Emma Gray

    Trump then retweeted the below image, which compares a model shot of Melania with an unflattering photograph of Heidi. “These images are worth a thousand words,” reads the meme, implying that when it comes to the position of First Lady, all that matters is a woman’s hotness.”

    If anyone can support Trump after all his hate and sexism, well, they need help as well.. Hillary you go please.. A savior we need…


  44. If I were president, I would order this house tore down. The house pictured is a 3 story house sitting down in a hole of an old quarry. It is sitting up on a 10ft platform of solid rock so it is even farther down to the bottom. But down in the hole it is level with several big trees. A natural spring too. So after I tore the house down I would ask the Vietnamese Buddhists, who have their temple around the corner. to build me a beautiful contemplation garden  where I might go to relax and forget my presidential worries.

    BTW if you click on the link you might recognize a certain nameless character we all know.


  45. 1. Inaugural Address naming cabinet. Rep Grayson to AG

    2. Begin investigation of bush Admins, hangers-on, relatives, and ‘blind’ trusts for war crimes, crimes against humanity, and profiting from insider knowledge on the stock and commodity exchanges.

    3. Cancel scooter’s pardon.

    4. Charge scooter with espionage and treason. Squeeze him ’til he blabs.

    5. Send bill to Congress removing personhood from corporations, while allowing for standing in courts.

    6. Send bill to Congress breaking up Wall Street banks, insurance companies, and brokerage houses : Glass-Steagall.

    7. Send bill to congress ending the secrecy of political PACs, and declaring anonymous speech unfree, as it was in the days of Madison, Jefferson, Hamilton & Franklin.

    8. Send bill to Congress to fund presidential campaigns, and set time and spending limits.

    9. Send 100 most influential republicans, plus 20 of their officials on peace mission to Pyongyang.

    10. Nuke Pyongyang.

  46. Jack, a fine use of your tenure.

    Thanks sjwny for a fun exercise today.

    My pick for Treasury Sec: Robert Reich. Would luv to watch him drive Wall Street insane.

    And for SEC chair: Elliot Spitzer, the sheriff of Wall Street. Could not care less about his personal issues.

  47. Jamie – Oregon also has a motor-voter bill registering everyone who gets a driver license.  There are places that encourage voter participation…

  48. Yes, Craig, Reich for Treasury  and Spitzer for SEC.
    11. Send bill to Congress eliminating subsidies for Big Oil.
    12. “ eliminating free Navy and Air Force protection of sea lanes (the oil train).
    13. “ creating a severance tax on escaping companies.
    14. Attack isil strongholds and objectives with shrapnel made from Spam. From downwind spray isil forward positions with rohypnols & ethanol. Draft America’s swine and booze producers !
    16. Invade Cayman Islands and seize all bank accounts. Release the funds of the innocent by-sitters.
    17. Free and pardon all prisoners convicted of simple sale of less than 1 lb, or possession of less than 25 lbs of marijuana.
    18. Arrest and  charge Gov snyder and his underlings for conspiracy to deprive Flint residents of their civil rights,  for depriving the people of Flint of their civil rights, and for attempted mass murder in the second degree.
    19. Make public the hearings and depositions in the case of dennis hastert.
    20. Publish the blacked out portions of the  9/11 Commission Report
    21. Publish the names of all the attendees at the ‘Blue Ribbon’ commission on energy convened by dick cheney in 2001. Publish all the notes of that meeting. If the names and notes are not available, proceed with renditioning and waterboarding until they are.


    I would  hire Sturge to build those cabinets and an Irish pub down by the bowling alley, book great Irish bands for late afternoon sessions, hire a Bagpipe band to play outside at sun up and sun down.  Have a dark chocolate lolly be made to be offered to all visitors.  Paint the White House multi-colored- rainbow. Then I would hire you all to be my advisors. Meetings to be held at the pub.

    Lastly, I would apologize to Patton’s Army, the 94th Infantry Division, and give them the long overdue honor and respect due them and grant them  Liberator status.  The officer in charge at the Army Center of US Military History,  who declared that the 94th would be granted Liberator status “over my dead body”,  would be, instead of her choice, sent permanently to Leavenworth.

  50. bb, your idea about daily having a “…person pointing out that the shirkers are not in the building provided to them to do the country’s business” didn’t exactly work for the new dumb ky guv.  seems he didn’t realize they weren’t on the house floor at the time ’cause some were at committee mtgs and other scheduled legislative doings.

    courier journal re bevin’s facebook video

    and wkyt report on same video


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