The State of the Wall Address

By xrepublican, a Trail Mix Contributor

My fellow Americans, I come to you tonight to speak about the state of the Wall. Mr trump claims that our nation will not be safe without his wall, and he’s holding the incomes of 400,000 loyal Americans hostage to get that wall out of your bank accounts.

Mr trump says that dirty, disease-spreading, drug-dealing, murderous rapists and terrorists will enter our nation, towns, and homes unless we build him his wall. The purporse of this claim is that all of you and all of your loved ones will become diseased, drug-addicted, raped, and murdered if we don’t comply. He also claims that rich people and Democrats all cower behind walls for protection, and that it ought to be the right of the common people to cower, too. As if he ever knew any of us commoners, beyond a smile, a wave, and perhaps a quick handshake followed by hand wiping.
Behind me you will see first a photograph of the trump tower in Manhattan. Next, you will see the trump tower Chicago on Wacker Drive. Third, is the Las Vegas trump tower and the trump tower here in Washington D.C. Do you notice any similarity in these buildings ? Of course, none of them have walls to protect the trumps, their guests, or their children from the disease-carrying, drug-dealing, murderous rapists and terrorists that lurk in the downtowns of these big cities. You might say that American cities are relatively safe from the dregs of shitholia, but here is a picture of the Istanbul trump tower. No wall there, either.

I put it to you, my fellow Americans, that if the trump properties, family, their guests, and their guest’s children don’t need walls, even in the roiling atmosphere of the Near East, then Americans like you and I don’t need Mr trump’s ridiculous wall, either. Call the number at the bottom of your screen and give Mr trump a message. Tell him that you don’t want his wall, and that you refuse to pay for it. Then tell him to pay our loyal employees, and Make America Great Again!

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33 thoughts on “The State of the Wall Address”

  1. XR, brilliant. Trump Tower has walls but no Wall. It has a few posts embedded in the sidewalk and portable concrete blocks to stop traffic from driving through the front door.

    Btw, you want me to exercise patience in posting?  That’s a stretch.

  2. wapo:  Rudy Giuliani: ‘I never said there was no collusion’ between Trump campaign and Russia

    […]Giuliani jumped to correct Cuomo. “You just misstated my position,” Giuliani said. “I never said there was no collusion between the campaign, or between people in the campaign.” Cuomo’s face contorted into an expression of disbelief. “Yes, you have,” he shot back. As recently as July, Giuliani was asked by Fox News contributor Guy Benson, “Regardless of whether collusion would be a crime, is it still the position of you and your client that there was no collusion with the Russians whatsoever on behalf of the Trump campaign?” “Correct,” Giuliani responded at the time. But on Wednesday, Giuliani appeared to amend his previous comments on the subject. “I said the president of the United States,” he protested, arguing that he had only ever said Trump himself was not connected to any Russian meddling in the 2016 election. “There is not a single bit of evidence the president of the United States committed the only crime you can commit here, conspired with the Russians to hack the DNC.”The White House did not respond to a request for comment early Thursday. [10 times the Trump team has watered down its Russia collusion denials] Giuliani and Cuomo then proceeded to tangle over the president’s past statements that “nobody” associated with his campaign colluded. “He didn’t say nobody, he said he didn’t,” Giuliani said of Trump, which Cuomo immediately noted was not true.[continues]

     

  3. did rudy (speaking for his client) just throw everybody else in the campaign under the bus?

    must be one of those air buses

  4. Trudy’s wandered into the “I didn’t say that, and if I did I didn’t mean to say that, and even if I said it and meant it, it didn’t happen, and even if it happened it’s not a crime” pleading in the alternative universe.

  5. xrep…   CLAP! CLAP!

     
    I hereby declare that the only wall we Americans need is a wall from which we can throw trumpty dumpty off of…    peeeeeoooow…  it stinks like rotten eggs.

  6. nytimes:
    On Day 26 of the partial government shutdown, Jimmy Kimmel said he might have figured out a way to convince President Trump to abandon his course. He noticed that Trump hadn’t played golf since before the shutdown began. (He last played on Nov. 25, the longest spell without a golf game in his presidency.)
    Kimmel presumes that Trump knows it would look bad for him to be out on the course instead of negotiating with Democrats to reopen the government.

    “I know it doesn’t mean much to Donald Trump that a bunch of Americans are being forced to work without paychecks,” Kimmel said. “But I know what does matter to you. I know what you care about down to the bottom of your Kentucky-fried little heart. And that is golf.”

    Kimmel suggested to the president that he give up on funding a border wall and simply reopen the government so he can hit the links again.

    “With one crazy zigzag stroke of your executive Sharpie, you could be back on the greens at Mar-a-Lago, faster than you can say ‘Pocahontas.’ You’ll be right back out there eating club sandwiches and bossing caddies around with the boys. It’s a win-win, for us and for you. The federal employees can go back to work, you can get back to doing what you do best: cheating at golf. It’s good for you, and it’s good for America. We need you out on the golf course as much as possible — to keep from you doing things! So think about it. Let’s play our way out of the rough together.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

     

  7. from same nyt link:
    Nancy Pelosi, the speaker of the House, asked Trump on Wednesday to either delay or cancel his State of the Union address amid the shutdown. She suggested that he could submit his remarks in writing, rather than delivering them to Congress. Both Stephen Colbert and James Corden saw a problem with that idea.

    “Now, pointing out that until Woodrow Wilson was president, presidents didn’t give the State of the Union in person, Pelosi gave Trump the option to deliver it in writing. Really? In writing? Have you seen how this guy spells? He’s just going to tweet, ‘The Stat of our Uniom is … STRANG!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
    “Pelosi did say Trump can submit a written version of his speech, which is pretty strategic on her part. She’s going right for his biggest handicap: spelling.” — JAMES CORDEN

     

  8. Something is coming down on the brown sky universe very soon.  SFB has his twitter phone taken away for over a day now.  Rudy the lip has gone off and admitted that everybody in the alternate universe is guilty of something.  SFB did not do a stupid stunt when the bi-partisan group went to the WH yesterday.  Mueller, filed some more documents with just enough left open to give a couple of clues as to what is going on.  And, there was no response to Speaker Pelosi telling him to mail it in for the SotU. Not a peep or tweet.

     

  9. politicususa:
    Rachel Maddow didn’t hold back on Senate Republicans on Wednesday, slamming their vote to allow Donald Trump to prematurely lift sanctions on Russian businesses with ties to Vladimir Putin.
     
    Eleven GOP senators sided with the Democrats, but it wasn’t enough to break the 60-vote threshold needed to block the president’s move.

     
    The MSNBC host slammed a select group of Senate Republicans, including Mitch McConnell and Mitt Romney, for selling out to Russia even as they frequently take credit for standing up to Putin.
    “You can thank them all for voting today to give Vladimir Putin’s government in Russia a huge big economic present,” Maddow said.

    Maddow said:
     

    Well, today, this afternoon, despite those 11 Republican senators breaking ranks and being willing to side with the Democrats on this, it turned out to be not enough because today there was a crucial vote on this matter, which came with not a 50-vote threshold, but a 60-vote threshold to stop the Trump administration from lifting these Deripaska-related sanctions. Schumer and the Democrats and the breakaway Republicans were able to put together 57 votes, but 57 isn’t 60, and so you can thank top Senate Republican Mitch McConnell. You can thank all of these other Republican senators who get all of this public credit for supposedly being so hawkish and so realistic on Russia. You can thank them all for voting today to give Vladimir Putin’s government in Russia a huge big economic present and voting to give Oleg Deripaska the biggest break of his life even while his potential role in the Russian attack on our election remains a critical matter that is under ongoing investigation related to multiple criminal cases. Last night I said that would be a test case in terms of whether or not the Republicans had any compunction about the Trump administration and the president and its relationship to the Russian government. It was a test case. They didn’t pass the test.

  10. So Romney was nothing but bullshitty.  Go figure.  My question is why anything is going to be considered for a vote until there’s a vote to reopen the government, although I would have thought if anything would get to the floor, this would be it. Mitch does understand does he not that he will have to get 6 democrats to agree to any legislation getting to the floor? This will not aid him in that.

  11. No State of the Union? That would be wonderful!

    by wapo’s  Alexandra petri
    Truly a blessed day!
     
    House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Wednesday wrote a letter to President Trump saying, roughly, that his TV privileges are being cut off until he figures out a way out of the shutdown. Resolve the shutdown, find a new date or deliver the address in writing! It was a polite but firm no, pointing out that “since the start of modern budgeting in Fiscal Year 1977, a State of the Union address has never been delivered during a government shutdown.”
     
    Not to put too fine a point on it, but the State of the Union is an enormous mound of garbage. Until Woodrow Wilson, the address was delivered in writing. This is just one of the many things Woodrow Wilson ruined that we are still struggling with today.
     
    The State of the Union is one of those parties where you used to have a good time, but then someone did an idiotic thing a single time, and suddenly it became a tradition, and since then, no one has enjoyed it.
     

    It is, loosely speaking, pointless. The speech itself is either too long or too long and also without substance. But the speech would not be so bad if the president did not insist on bringing Guests Who Really Represent Us. The one advantage of the Trump administration’s callous disregard for norms is that it sometimes throws bathwater out along with all the babies, so you would think it might have ditched the notion of bringing along Great Americans Who Must Be Described and Then Applauded at Length, but you would be wrong.
     
    So even as all the good things are evaporating around us, the Joshua trees are being irreparably damaged and garbage is overtaking our national parks, we are still expected to sit there for three minutes applauding a Noted Scuba Diver Who Exemplifies What Is Best in Our Nation. Not that these people, of course, do not exemplify all of what is best in our nation, but the standing and clapping is a bit much.
     
    Oh, the standing and clapping. The clapping and standing. The applause lines not immediately recognized as such by the audience, which had just sat down! The applause lines not intended as applause lines at all but seized upon, sometimes mid-sentence, by the opposing party! “I don’t think” (uproarious standing applause) “that this is any way to govern” (mild, dutiful applause) “our great nation” (long pause for expected applause followed by slow rising to feet and more mild, dutiful applause). As a consequence, a bad speech that was going to take maybe 10 minutes somehow stretches to engulf past, present and future, until all time has been consumed.
    And that is not to mention the histrionics, such as shouting “You lie!” or bringing Ted Nugent as your guest.
     
    Then there is the response. As far as I can tell, the response to the State of the Union is cursed: Words will issue from your lips, but no one will heed them, because you were looking at the wrong camera or had to apply Chapstick or drank water. If Lincoln’s first inaugural address had been delivered in response to the State of the Union, no one would remember the better angels of their nature and everyone would remember that midway through, Lincoln paused to flick some weird lint off his collar. More importantly, everyone would feel justified in this.
     
    And that is assuming that the content of the State of the Union is standard and not full of ominous, factless threats and dog whistles, which is a pretty large assumption. But even if it does contain all that, it will not prevent someone from calling it a Statesmanlike Turning Point.
    There is, the more I think about it, maybe nothing to look forward to about the State of the Union? The only fun part is guessing what member of the Cabinet will be absent to ensure a smooth and continuous government, but there has not been smooth continuous government since maybe February 2017, and the fact that a Cabinet member is not present might in fact simply mean that no person has been appointed to the post, rendering the prospect of an address more glum than ever.
     
    Shut it down! Shut it all down!
     

  12. re petri re SOTU, if nothing else at least read this part:

    The only fun part is guessing what member of the Cabinet will be absent to ensure a smooth and continuous government, but there has not been smooth continuous government since maybe February 2017, and the fact that a Cabinet member is not present might in fact simply mean that no person has been appointed to the post, rendering the prospect of an address more glum than ever.

  13. As the shutdown drags on, it’s obvious that it’s not about a “wall”, at all, and more about Trump destroying the US government and economy from within, at the behest of whom, i don’t know, although i can think of a few groups for which that is a goal.

  14. Louisville courier journal 

    McConnell doesn’t have the guts to stand up to Trump and end shutdown

    […]
    McConnell’s reason?
    In an affront to the legislative independence that has served this country well for more than 200 years and has stopped imperial presidencies where all power would have been entrusted to the chief executive, Senate Majority Leader McConnell has said he won’t allow a vote on anything President Donald Trump will veto.
    […]
    In our system of government, Congress is supposed to provide a check on the powers of the president. McConnell has done nothing but embolden an immoral autocrat who is looking more and more like a Russian asset.
    Trump shut down the government Dec. 22 because he doesn’t have the votes in the House or Senate to give him $5.7 billion to build a couple of hundred miles of wall on the Mexican border.
    Just like he did as a businessman, Trump is using extortion to try to get his way when his powers of persuasion aren’t good enough to get done what he wants.
    He is threatening to wreck our economy for a silly wall when the Democrats are prepared to give him billions for more Border Patrol officers and technology that really can help stem the flow of undocumented immigrants and illicit drugs into the country.
    And make no mistake about this. It is Trump’s shutdown. He bragged that he would be “proud” to shut down the government in December. And on Sunday, he rebuffed Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham’s plea to open the government temporarily while a deal is negotiated.
    Since the shutdown began, however, McConnell has gone missing. He’s not tried to reopen the government.
    […]
    What is outrageous is McConnell won’t put any pressure on Trump to sign the bill that he voted for in December and that Trump supported before radio talk show hosts howled about it.
    God forbid the Republican McConnell even consider overriding the veto of a president of his own party.
    It used to not be like that.
    There once was a day that the House and the Senate cut deals, sent them to the president and if he vetoed them, they’d vote on whether to override. They sometimes did this even if the party controlling the legislature and the one in the White House were the same.
    McConnell is old enough to remember that.
    During the six years Republicans held the Senate during Ronald Reagan’s administration, they voted to override Reagan, the patron saint of the GOP, six different times.
    When Congress handed Reagan the biggest foreign policy defeat of his presidency and overrode his veto of the Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act of 1986, McConnell was there. And he voted with the supermajority to override.
    But that was back in the days when Senate Republicans were led by lions like Bob Dole of Kansas and the late Howard Baker of Tennessee.
    Now the Senate, which showed no great desire to push Trump’s controversial and costly border wall during the first two years of his administration, has the cowering McConnell at the helm.
    Scared for whatever reason — perhaps he doesn’t want the president to give him a nickname or fire a volley of mean-girl tweets at him — McConnell refuses to do what’s right for the country.
    [continues]

  15. If midge mcconnell allows a vote to open government, trump will fire midge’s wife.

    No more nookie.

    What is the good of the country when compared to midge’s nookie ?

  16. “What is the good of the country when compared to midge’s nookie ?“

    …brings new meaning to “watching turtles ****”.

  17. Since Republicans love business analogies- if you hired a new CEO for your company, and that executive shut the company down, would you regard that person as a leader with an interest in your and the company’s welfare?

     

    Of course not, that would be ridiculous.  25th amendment, impeachment, indictment, whatever- get this Anti-American assclown out of the Oval Office.

  18. I seem to recall something in the Constitution about the Congress having he ability to override a presidential veto. If my recollection is correct I do not believe the founding fathers are smiling down on Mertle.  and I’m sure they would not care much about him getting no more nookie. (Well, except for  Franklin and Jefferson I suppose).

  19. So SFB blocked Nancy from using a government plane to visit troops. Hmmmm, I wonder whether he’ll pay a price for that.

  20. Pogo

    I suspect he already has, he just doesn’t know it.

    After all she knew there would be a reaction to the her canceling the Sotu speech.

     

    Jack

  21. Buzz Feed just reported that Michael Cohen has admitted that trump instructed him to lie to Congress. That makes 2 (including hope hicks) who have sworn under oath that trump instructed employees to commit perjury. Cohen’s claim means obstruction & collusion w/russia over the trump tower. The odds for having pence becoming president before 2020 just got exponentially better.

  22. Yep, midge could end it all tomorrow. Trump is a piss poor bluffer. WSJ has a story about Trump  folding  on his tariff bluff with China. That is Trumps MO bluff until called and folding.

    wonder if I could get him in a poker game.

    Jack

  23. ex-rep

    there is always the midge problem. To either end the shut down or remove trump from office you need honorable Republicans. Midge ain’t one of them and right now he controls the Senate.

    Jack

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